After getting engaged, you might spend a few weeks (or even months) soaking up the post-proposal joy, sharing the happy news with your closest friends and family. Soon enough, you’ll dive into planning—picking a wedding date, securing a venue, and maybe booking a few key vendors. But there’s another big task in these early stages: finalizing your guest list. Deciding who gets to celebrate this milestone with you is a huge deal and often one of the most stressful parts of wedding planning. Who makes the cut? How many guests can your parents invite? Do you really have to include that distant cousin you hardly know just because you’re related?
“We always ask couples starting their guest list, ‘When you walk down the aisle, who do you want to see there? Who would you miss?’” says wedding planner Elizabeth Hall. “Your wedding day is about you and your partner, so first and foremost, share it with the people you truly want there—not just those you feel obligated to invite.”
Below, these experts share the most common mistakes couples make when creating their guest list—and how to avoid them.
6 Common Wedding Guest List Mistakes (and How to Avoid Them)
When drafting your guest list, you might brace yourself for tough talks with parents and in-laws about who gets an invite. But there are other pitfalls you may not see coming. Here are six common blunders couples face—and expert advice on steering clear of them.
1. Inviting Too Many People
Many couples assume a chunk of guests will RSVP “no,” leading them to over-invite, says Jessica Bishop. But it’s safer to assume most will say “yes”—and plan accordingly. Let your budget and venue capacity guide your final number.
2. Skipping Plus-Ones
Plus-ones can be tricky, but if a guest has a long-term partner, they should be invited—even if you don’t know them well, says Suzy Lins. If space or budget is tight, explain this upfront. “Don’t be offended if they decline. Would you attend a love celebration without your own partner?”
Of course, this doesn’t apply to brand-new relationships. But for serious partners (living together, engaged, or married), “both should be included unless it’s a very small wedding,” adds Hall.
3. Inviting Out of Obligation
You don’t have to invite your mom’s coworker or a distant cousin, says Jamila Musayeva. “Inviting people you barely know bloats your list and budget. Focus on those truly part of your life and future.”
4. Not Setting Boundaries With Family
Parents and in-laws might assume they can add unlimited guests, warns Musayeva. Discuss limits early—especially if they’re helping financially. “Be clear about how many they can invite to avoid misunderstandings,” says Bishop.
5. Unclear Invitation Wording
The envelope sets expectations, says Lauren Ashley. “If kids are invited, write ‘and family.’ If not, omit it.” Specify the number of seats on the RSVP card (e.g., “___ of 4 attending”) to avoid confusion.
6. Ignoring Group Dynamics
Overlooking guest dynamics can create awkwardness, Musayeva notes. “Inviting one friend from a tight group but not others can stir tension. If possible, include the whole circle.”
How to Avoid Guest List Mistakes
Remember: It’s Your Day
“Don’t feel pressured to invite family you’ve never met or don’t connect with,” says Ashley. “Your wedding is a major life event—and investment. Surround yourself with true supporters.”
Create an A-List and B-List
Bishop suggests an A-list (must-invite) and a B-list (nice-to-have, like coworkers). Send A-list invites first; if some decline, fill gaps with B-list guests.
Factor in Traditions Early
Discuss cultural or family expectations upfront to avoid clashes later, advises Musayeva.
Set Kid Rules Sooner Than Later
Decide early if kids are invited, excluded, or limited to family only. “Give parents time to plan travel or childcare,” says Musayeva. “Clarity on invitations is key.”